I love being a small fish

When I work with people who know nothing about network analysis… (picture copyright Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary)

Next week I’ll be a very small fish – at the annual conference of the International Network of Social Network Analysis in Hamburg, Germany. In my daily life I am THE social networks expert, because all my colleagues have different areas of expertise. So I can be comfortable, relax and feel like a social networks barracuda. Most of the questions my colleagues ask I can answer and they wouldn’t even know if I made something up (just as I wouldn’t know if they did in their area of expertise).

But at the Sunbelt conference, different story. I am looking forward to listening to talks that will really really stretch my brain, even to the feeling of: “This is brilliant (I think…) but I have no idea what he is talking about and how you could apply this in the real world as I know it.” And, while it might not be the most pleasant feeling, I am also eager to have participants in my Net-Map training, listening to my talk, who can ask me the tougher questions, who can call me out and would know exactly if I don’t know the answer… I spend most of my time as an implementer and change agent, using network stuff where and as it works for me – but with the goal of changing the world, not of creating perfect data sets for scientific analysis. That means, often it’s more important that the results are delivered fast, that they matter, that they are understandable, than that they could be published in a peer reviewed journal. But it’s easy to use this as an excuse for being lazy, in your work or intellectually. And that’s why it is so good, every once in a while, to be a very small fish in a very big pond…

More realistic picture of my position in the Social Network Analysis food chain (picture copyright by Bernie Gunn)

Show me your hunger!

Cookiemonster, show me your HUNGER (copyright by esti- on flickr)

Today I had lunch with my colleague Benjamina Randrianarivelo  and we talked about what we are looking for in people that we train in our respective methods. He is passionate for the Rapid Results Approach (I am getting there too…) and I, no surprise here, teach Net-Map whereever I go… Sure, we are looking for people who are clever, who can connect to people, who have experience etc. but the one most important thing you have to be is hungry. No not just hungry, HUNGRY!

In the good seven years since I have developed Net-Map I have trained more people than I can count. And most of them will do a decent job at Net-Mapping afterward. But there are some who have moved to be virtuosos, Net-Map blackbelts, people who might know more about the method than I do. And what they have in common is that they don’t stop asking questions and digging deeper. Jennifer Hauck continues to ask how you deal with the validity when using Net-Map as a research method, Noora Aberman has driven both of us crazy and back when trying to figure out how to best stack larger datasets and still make sense of the data, Paolo Brunello has filmed teams who Net-Mapped and can’t stop wondering about the group dynamics you can observe, who picks up the pen, who leans back when and what does that mean. They are not the only ones (and these are not the only questions they are obsessed with), but they sure have challenged me and stayed hungry for more over the years. Also, they all have made sure to learn more about network analysis than I could teach them.

I wonder, is being HUNGRY! part of some people’s personality, that they are somehow always looking, digging, asking questions and learning while other people are quite satisfied with where they are and what they know already? Are there different rules about how you deal with your hunger in different cultures? Where you come, from can you actually approach an expert with questions or do you have to rather read up on things by yourself? Can you even envisage yourself becoming a super-expert on something, or do you think your role is rather that of an obedient student and supporter?

Well, if you feel this funny inkling in your stomach, this tickling and growling, feel free:

SHOW ME YOUR HUNGER!

If you want to learn, don’t hesitate, contact me, ask me questions, digg deeper.

Big picture: Look at every feather of every bird…

then take a step back and ask yourself: What does this mean?

On the way to work today I listened to a story on NPR radio about Alfred Russel Wallace, a British naturalist who died 100 years ago and who was the co-author of Darwin’s revolutionary first paper on the evolution of species. What struck me when listening: To get to his insights about the very very big picture, Wallace did not start by looking at large trends and aggregate data. He sailed out to the furtherest ends of the known world and looked at every feather of every bird. In his lifetime he collected more than 100 000 insect, bird and mamal speciemens. And while he was traveling for years, doing the backbreaking, fever inducing work of looking at every detail of the world around him, in the back of his mind, he couldn’t stop asking “Why?”. Why do I find this species here but not on the next island over. Why are there similar species in far away places – while I don’t find them close by?

I don’t think it  is a fluke that he had his greatest insight, that animals evolve adapting to their environments, after years of dealing with the details, when he lay in fever. Because in this half-concious state the mind allows itself to wander, and connect areas that are normally disconnected by our concious control.

So, if you want to discover evolution and tectonic shelfs by looking at bird feet (or have any other big insights in the field that is your passion), this is what I recommend:

Become obsessed with understanding every detail in your field, even if it is not obvious to anyone else how they might be related to a bigger question. Follow your gut and sail to the ends of the known world. With your eyes wide open, never stop asking: “Why?” While you collect the details, you will feel something growing inside of you that is bigger than just a pile of details, the individual dots will slowly fall in place. Every once in a while, step back, step way back. See if a picture evolves. And make sure you are there, you are listening that day when you think your one great thought, maybe under the shower, maybe in a fever or a dream. Don’t let it pass, hold onto it, write it down, let it rest a bit and then go back to work. Apply your concious mind to your fever thought and see what you can do with it.

And, you may wonder, why does this touch my heart? Because when listening to this story I realized that, on a much smaller scale, no tropical fever involved, this is what I do when I Net-Map. I loose myself in the details, listen to every story about everyone on the maps, chew and chew on the network data afterward till I have a stale taste in my mouth and hope, sometimes in desparation, that something will bubble up from that place deep inside of me and that this something will be bigger than the details on the maps. It’s a painful process at times, a tight-rope dance. Because you have to do the detail work even if it feels like all you can come up with is dry dust. But then, on a walk, under the shower, and sometimes even, big surprise, in front of my computer, the big storyline comes to me that holds everything together and I smile. Relieved more than anything, that there is a safe platform at the other end of the tight rope…

Join us for a 2 day Net-Map training in Washington, DC

Solve sticky problems while learning Net-Map

Spend two days with us, learning the basics of Net-Map, drawing maps of real cases that come from your personal or professional experience, learning to facilitate and read a Net-Map and earn a level 1 Net-Map certificate. We are still in the process of finalizing date and location, but if you want to make sure you are invited, send my colleague Amit Nag of Frametrics an email (amit.n@frametrics.com) to put you on our list!

Talk about corruption!

“Monster, I see you!” (picture copyright by puuikibeach on flickr)

I’m just back from a trip to a not so democratic nation in Africa and from an amazing Net-Mapping session with urban water managers. I knew that they were faced with two major challenges to improving their dilapidated system: Leakage of water and leakage of money.

But as an outsider, can you just come in an say: “Let’s talk about corruption!” Well, no. And yes.
When we draw a Net-Map together, we start innocently enough: “Who will influence whether you achieve 24/7 delivery of water to your customers in this city?” They put everyone and their grandmother on the map and start getting in the flow. Drawing the formal hierarchies and formal flows of money helped them understand the general structure that is the backbone of the system. In this specific case I knew a bit about the informal money flows (a.k.a. corruption) beforehand and proposed mapping them too. The temperature in the room rose by at least 10 degrees and everyone was very awake when they started drawing out the simple and complex lines of corruption and explaining the cartel-like structures involved. For us as outsiders, it helped us to understand what they are up against. But I think the more significant thing was what happened within the group, being in this pressure cooker together, experiencing that yes, they can talk about corruption, starting with the little people, the ground level entry points but also exploring the connections as they lead higher up…
No, we did not find a solution for it. We did not eradicate corruption or discover the secret for world peace. But I am convinced: If you want to get rid of a monster, the first thing you have to do is to look the monster in the face and say: “Monster, I see you!”

The participant who drives you crazy is not you at all!

What can I learn from someone so different? (picture copyright by Temari 09 on flickr)

So, you read my post about the participant who drives you crazy because you feel like looking in a mirror with bad lighting. And you are thinking about a recent experience when a participant really didn’t work for you… but try as you may, you cannot find yourself in their behavior. Maybe they are of the other kind, the participants who drive you crazy because they are not you at all.

I don’t know you, maybe you love jumping into new experiences and this participant who drove you crazy was hesitant and caught up in analysis paralysis.

Maybe you need to think things through step-by-step and love having a clear, well organized session and they brought in chaos, the unexpected, the urgent problem you didn’t prepare for.

Maybe you are polite and inclusive and love giving space to everyone and this one person just took all the space there was and didn’t stop talking.

You migh be a natural born skeptic, seeing possible pitfalls wherever you go and this participant just drove you crazy with unbearable blue-eyed optimism.

Or maybe it was the other way round. But this participant who drove you crazy did everything the way you would never do it, they did it all WRONG! The rational part of you may admit that there are many different ways to sucessfully participate in a workshop. But there is a part of you that just feels that your way is the right way, so this opposite of you has to be wrong.

I said it before and I’ll say it again: Listen to your gut. But don’t do everything it tells you.

You are feeling friction and frustration because by doing things so differently, your participant challenges your belief that your way is the right way and the only one. You have two options: Learn something from this or refuse to learn.

Refuse to learn: Push participant to act more like you. If they refuse, push harder. If they still refuse, find a way to silence or neutralize them so you can continue without obstruction, working with the part of the group that is just like you. In a certain limited way, this strategy can be successful (for you and those group members who are like you), you will be able to get from the beginning to the end of your planned session and do the activities that you promised would be done. And you might even feel clever for the way that you put the annoying participant on the eternal parking lot. But you will continue being stuck in the narrow-minded assessment that your way is the best. No learning. So what is the other option?

Learn: Listen to your gut while it complains about what a pain this participant is. Step away and take a deep breath and ask yourself: So what is the real problem here? And: Can I see this opposite behavior as my missing half? What is the most positive view you can have of their behavior? Do they bring something to the table that you don’t have? If they are your missing half, how can integrating their views and personality lead to a more rounded experience? How can you facilitate an experience that works for the other half as well, not just for those who are like you? And: Can you learn something from them that will broaden your own horizon, expand your personality? Maybe you even want to experiment with trying out their behavior to see how it feels and if it gets you places you have never been to before…

Let me warn you: This is really difficult, and most likely you will not be able to do all this thinking in the middle of facilitating a busy workshop. So go as far as you can. And do the rest of the thinking after the action is over, so that you can be more prepared for this the next time you meet the other half of your personality. If you can recognize why the participant drives you crazy (too similar or too different?), take a deep breath and not snap at them, that’s an important first step. Congratulations, you are on the road to learning. If you can embrace the thought that their being different actually enriches and deepens the workshop instead of thinking that it is a pain and they are a distraction that you need to neutralize, wonderful, you are getting there…

The participant who drives you crazy is you!

Edgar Degas, Madame Jeantaud in the Mirror (1875)

I recently had the great learning opportunity to deal with a workshop participant who drove me crazy and rubbed me all the wrong way.

Why is this so great? Because, let’s face it: If I didn’t recognize parts of myself in her, I wouldn’t have reacted with strong emotions. I would just have thought (in my head, not in my whole body): “Oh, this participant does things that don’t work well. What can I do to help her?”

But when you see someone who does something you tend to do, and you see it from the outside, experience how your behavior must feel to others, that is a whole body experience of: “Why can’t you just STOP DOING THIS?!” And if I didn’t take a deep breath and looked in the mirror before reacting, I would be tempted to shout something like this. I think an important part of being a facilitator is actively feeling what is going on in your whole body (not just above the shoulders), observing it and then taking yourself beyond your immediate gut reaction. It may sound paradox but that’s what it is, you have to closely listen to your gut reactions, but then not just say whatever your gut tells you.

So what did I do when my participant just couldn’t stop doing it: Looking at everything from an evaluation or co-facilitation perspective, getting stuck in thinking and discussing about process instead of allowing herself to experience it? And keeping her group from the experience as well?

Well, the first thing I did was walk away and take a deep breath. Acknowledge that the participant who drives me crazy is me. And then I tried to think of her as if she was me: “What would be a kind thing that someone could say to me if I were stuck in the same way?” The “kind” part of it can be the most difficult one, because your gut may be far more ready to pick a fight, push, dragg and put pressure, than to open a door and get out of the way so the other person can walk through the door.

When I am the participant who is stuck in analyzing the process, it won’t help me if someone tells me to just stop thinking and get on with it. Because if I feel like something in the process is not going to work out the way I think it should, I can get pretty stuck and feel like this needs to be fixed. So what kind of door could I open for my participant that would be easier to walk through? Here is what I said: ”Try to let your concern rest for half an hour, join your group in going through the process and let’s talk about your concern afterward.”

That is basically saying a number of things:

Your concern is valid.

You have permission to let go of it for a while.

You also have permission to pick it up again afterward.

Did it work for her? I’m not sure… but it definitely taught me a few things for my next group meetings – both as facilitator and participant.

I’d be interested to hear from you: Does this ever happen to you? How do participants show you your own face in the mirror? How do you deal with it?